That this House has considered International Men’s Day, issues affecting boys’ and men’s health and wellbeing and gender equality.
I thank members of the Backbench Business Committee for granting this debate and the 22 Members across five parties who supported the application. I have a confession to make: being new to this place, I did not know when I applied for the debate that the convention was that I would be the first speaker. However, it is an honour to open this debate marking International Men’s Day, which took place on Tuesday of this week. I hope that I am able to give a voice to some of the men and boys in the area that I represent, who may feel powerless and unheard.
My second confession is that this is the first time I have ever spoken publicly about the health and wellbeing of men and boys specifically. I am unashamedly feminist. My work before coming to this place was in international development, including supporting women’s empowerment projects in northern Ghana and research on gender and education in Rwanda. On a recent International Women’s Day, I was in the Central African Republic to meet and seek international support for women leaders of the interfaith platform, who courageously work together to promote peace. In the UK, I have supported initiatives to break down barriers to girls entering science, technology, engineering and maths, and I am proud to belong to a party that is working to close the gender pay gap and setting a national mission to halve violence against women and girls.
Gender inequality, as we all know, has long been seen through the lens of women’s struggles, and rightly so. Women have fought tirelessly for equality of opportunity and freedom from violence and discrimination, but when I meet and listen to my constituents, there are also undeniable challenges that specifically impact the health, wellbeing and life outcomes of boys and men. These are raised with me by women as well as men, because nobody fights for their sons more than mums.
May I be clear at the outset of this debate that International Men’s Day is not a call to diminish the importance of women’s rights, nor to overshadow the progress made in gender equality for all? Rather, it is about recognising that gender inequality harms everyone—men and boys as well as women and girls. Men are more likely to die prematurely, more likely to develop alcohol addiction, more likely to be homeless, more likely to take their own life, more likely to be sent to prison and more likely to be a victim of violent crime.
I commend the hon. Member for securing this debate. He is right to highlight the issue of suicide. More young men under the age of 18 commit suicide in Northern Ireland than anywhere else in the United Kingdom. Over the past five years, suicides of young men number almost 5,000. That is worrying and very concerning. I have a quick question for the hon. Member. Men’s sheds across the country are a great help. The one at the Glen community association in Newtownards directly helps young men and teenagers—
Order. Mr Shannon, interventions must be shorter than that. There will be plenty of opportunity to make a contribution, should you so wish, during the debate.
I welcome the hon. Member’s intervention. I will come on to talk about men’s sheds—I met representatives of the Men’s Sheds Association on Tuesday in Speaker’s House.
Men are, indeed, more likely to take their own life. Boys are more likely to be excluded from school, and they are underachieving compared with girls at every level of education. That is because gender inequality is not only structural—by which I mean an unequal division of power and resources as assigned through our rules and institutions—but cultural. It is embedded in social attitudes and expectations around manhood and womanhood. It is here where gender inequality really harms men and boys.
I also recognise, as I attempt to frame this debate, that men, like women, are diverse. There is more than one way of being male. I refer here not only to sexuality, but to binary ideas of how men should behave. If Members were to visit my home on a summer night, they might find Mrs Rushworth in the garden lighting the barbecue and me in the kitchen preparing the salad. If they were to visit in the winter, they might find her bleeding the radiators while I am singing a lullaby to settle one of our children in bed. International Men’s Day is an opportunity to celebrate male diversity and to promote kinder, more emotionally connected and liberated versions of masculinity as positive male role models for boys.
I wish to focus the rest of my remarks on two concerning by-products of gender inequality that are prevalent in my constituency of Bishop Auckland—men’s mental health and the concerning rise of male suicide, particularly among young men, and boys’ underachievement at school—and why we must tackle those issues head-on for the benefit of both sexes.
The crisis in men’s mental health is one of the most significant issues of our time. It negatively impacts not only on the individuals concerned, but on their relationships with family, friends and work colleagues and, tragically, it is increasingly leading to suicide. In the UK, men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women, and it is now the leading cause of death of men under 50. The contributing factors are multiple and include debt, addiction, family breakdown and unfair deprivation of access to children, but what seems to compound all of them is loneliness and a sense of being trapped carrying burdens alone. Too often, the societal expectation that men be stoic, strong and emotionless leads to a suppression of feelings. From a young age, boys are taught to man up, to hide vulnerability and to suppress their emotions. That is a damaging narrative that not only impedes emotional wellbeing, but stifles open conversations about physical and mental health.
On behalf of the whole House, may I say that my hon. Friend is doing an exceptional job? We should acknowledge the importance of men being positive role models for other men. Does he agree that some of the situations he describes leave young men vulnerable to nefarious role models—online role models, and so on—and that all of us older men have a duty to provide opportunities to talk, and positive role models for younger men?
My hon. Friend makes an important point. Before coming to this place, I used to tutor for the Brilliant Club in several schools in the north-east and would often have conversations with my students. One course that I taught was about the prevention of genocide, and it touched on issues of identity-based violence and discrimination. Very often, the girls would enter a conversation about the sorts of misogynist comments that they received, and their experiences of sexual assault by boys in their class who were influenced by so-called online influencers—to name and shame one, Andrew Tate seems to be having a really pernicious influence on many boys, and seems to promote a version of masculinity that I believe is deeply harmful, both to boys and to the girls whom they then interact with. That was an excellent intervention.
The crisis in men’s mental health and wellbeing has its roots in the crisis in boys’ mental health and wellbeing. In 2020, 122 boys aged 10 to 19 died by suicide. An analysis by Childline found that, despite having more than double the suicide rate, only one boy for every five girls talks about mental health to Childline, and they are even less likely to contact the service when they have suicidal thoughts. Boys as well as men appear to be suffering in silence.
Health and wellbeing are intrinsically linked to the ability to learn. Nationally, girls are outperforming boys at every level of education from primary school through to university. In the north-east, we have the lowest GCSE grades anywhere in the country, particularly among boys. Of course, it did not used to be this way. Back in the ’70s, it was the other way round, and there was alarm at the fact that boys were outperforming girls. Significant studies done at that time explored things such as language and space in the classroom and the way that boys would dominate conversation. When I visit schools today, I see the reverse: boys who are suppressed and do not feel able to speak freely. There is much evidence that that is not a uniform picture, and there are examples of schools where boys are not underperforming, so we know it is avoidable and preventable.
I congratulate my hon. Friend the Member for Bishop Auckland (Sam Rushworth) on securing the debate. Madam Deputy Speaker, where is everybody? Nobody is on the Conservative Benches, besides the Opposition Whip. I am surprised to see empty Benches on the Conservative side of the House. I am sure the shadow Secretary of State, the hon. Member for East Grinstead and Uckfield (Mims Davies), will give a great speech, but she should not have to hold it all down by herself.
International Men’s Day started in 1992 in Trinidad and Tobago, and we started debating International Men’s Day in the House in 2015. I thought it was important to attend today, because it is not a competition. I always attend the International Women’s Day debate, and my fighting for the rights of women does not in any way negate my fighting for the rights of men. It is important that we campaign, so it would have been nice to see more people in the Chamber. I get a lot of misogynistic abuse online from people who say, “Why don’t we have an International Men’s Day?” Well, we are having an International Men’s Day debate, and the House is not full.
This is a great time to talk about the many men’s charities that do amazing work. In my Brent East constituency, we have BoyztoMEN, Moving on Up, 100 Black Men of London, Men United, Making the Leap and the Social Wellness Club. We also have a lot of barbers who do lots of great work. The men and boys who go for haircuts are encouraged to talk and have debates. They are not always great debates—I am not saying that they always make sense—but customers are encouraged to talk and share. There is a particularly good barber shop in Brent called Faisal Barbers. It teaches the young men things such as timekeeping; they have to arrive on time or they cannot get their hair cut. All those kinds of soft skills are important in later life. I like to highlight that shop because even during the pandemic it had debates about covid, keeping safe and getting the vaccination. That was important.
I rise to balance the Benches and stand up for men—Members on the Government Benches cannot have it all their own way. Hon. Members may not be wholly surprised to know that I did not originally intend to make a speech in this debate, but I will add a short one in support of the community sheds and men’s sheds in my constituency of Broadland and Fakenham. I most recently visited the Aylsham men’s shed, about two weeks ago, which welcomes women as well as men.
I have been very interested to hear some of the comments made by hon. and right hon. Members this afternoon, and I have learned a lot. This debate has helped me to reflect on what it means to be a man. I stand before you, Madam Deputy Speaker, comfortable in my cardigan. That is one form of manhood, but that is probably stretching it a little. Slightly more seriously, I look at my relationships with my wider friendship group and compare them with those of my wife, who is brilliant at communicating and at the small acts of kindness and connection that go into making a personal community as well as a corporate community—a community around the village and school relationships.
Compare me with my wife, and I am found wholly wanting; I fit all the stereotypes. Why use a sentence when a single word will do to communicate? Why pick up with old friends when I can ignore them for a few more years? That is fine when things are going well, but as men we are too often found bereft of support when things go badly. Heaven forbid, if my wife were to fall under a bus, I would be devastated—she is the best thing that has ever happened to me—and the community support that I take for granted because of her involvement in my life and my family would be removed. All too often, men are left exposed. I do not quite know why it is, but we seem to be less good at and less prepared to focus on and invest time in the soft relationships that go into making that cobweb and network of community touchpoints that makes us strong. It makes us be here for each other.
I congratulate my hon. Friend the Member for Bishop Auckland (Sam Rushworth) on securing today’s debate, and on the tone and sentiment of his message. This is not about undermining International Women’s Day; it is a chance to highlight positive images of masculinity and to raise awareness of issues that affect men almost exclusively.
First, I want to talk about a problem that affects many men in every part of our country: the impact of prostate cancer. Last week, I was delighted to join my right hon. Friend the Foreign Secretary at an event with Prostate Cancer Research, highlighting the vital importance of screening for a cancer that impacts one in eight men and is second only to lung cancer as a cause of death in men. As we know, early diagnosis of prostate cancer is essential. Diagnosis at stages 1 to 3 results in a five-year survival rate of almost 100%, but if a diagnosis does not occur until stage 4—where the cancer has spread beyond the prostate—that rate halves to 50%. At Barts Health NHS trust, 17% of men with prostate cancer are only diagnosed at stage 4. We need to bring that proportion down, both locally and across the country, but sadly, that figure has been going in the wrong direction.
Not all of us face the same risk of prostate cancer. Geographically, late diagnosis is concentrated in some areas, such as Scotland and the north-east of England. Areas of higher deprivation tend to have lower access to diagnosis, and despite having a much higher diagnosis rate, black men are 2.5 times more likely to die from prostate cancer than white men. That shows that diagnosis is not the whole story—we need action to improve access to the right treatment as well—so I would be grateful for anything the Minister can say about the Government’s plan to improve access to screening and reduce those disproportionate impacts for black men. The need for faster diagnosis and more effective treatment of prostate cancer is a serious problem for men, and I am looking forward to addressing that in the coming months through the newly formed all-party parliamentary group.
I just want to pay tribute to my hon. Friend for raising this matter and to my hon. Friend the Member for Bishop Auckland (Sam Rushworth) for securing this debate, and to say on record that I, and I am sure the rest of the House, think they are both amazing role models for young men watching this debate.
That is very kind; I might start crying. [Laughter.]
We should all understand that those challenges for young men include the legacy of isolation from the pandemic, a fragmented and divided society, understandably low trust in our media and social institutions, a lack of hope for the future given the dire economic growth, and the housing crisis they have grown up with their whole lives. Addressing these problems of restoring hope and trust are core objectives of our mission-led Government, and these challenges are faced by all our young people.
Therefore, in my view, the major difference in radicalisation is not a greater gender rift across our society. It is that young men and boys are specifically being targeted by extremists and grifters. We should be clear how pathetic these conmen are: they are parasites and predators who exploit and amplify anxieties that are normal for young people. It is totally normal for teenagers to have some concern about body image, their love lives and how they fit into peer groups and wider society. It is equally normal for young people to rebel, and to want to think for themselves and to establish their own identity. What is not normal is for these anxieties to be fuelled, exploited and channelled into totally unhealthy obsessions and bigotry. Setting men and boys against women and girls, against each other, and against the institutions that hold our liberal democracy together is unacceptable.
As a society, we need to recognise this threat and to defend all our young people from it. We know that young people, but primarily boys, are starting out in entirely benign places such as a history channel on YouTube or a gaming forum, and are rapidly being pushed into spaces where extremist predators dominate. Most of all, we need to get serious about the regulation of the spaces in which these extremist influences thrive. We need to make it clear to social media platforms that if they continue using algorithms that are destructive to our social fabric, fuel violence against women and girls and are harmful to our young people, they will face the consequences.
I thank my hon. Friend the Member for Bishop Auckland (Sam Rushworth) for securing this important debate. As we know, International Men’s Day was on Tuesday. My hon. Friend the Member for Leyton and Wanstead (Mr Bailey) talked about his service and the horrors of war, and Tuesday also marked 1,000 days since the Russian invasion of Ukraine. I want to put on record my thanks to all the men serving on the frontline in Ukraine, and to those who have been injured or lost their lives in that awful conflict.
Many important men’s issues have been raised, and I am in agreement with much of the sentiment of the debate, particularly on the issues of health and the dangers of social media platforms. However, this debate should be inclusive of all men, and I want to affirm that trans men are men. I would like to commemorate the Transgender Day of Remembrance, which was yesterday, which is an opportunity for us to honour those murdered as a result of transphobia and the many more who have died by suicide. This includes many trans men, and the issues we have heard debated today, including mental health and suicide, are experienced by trans men.
Does my hon. Friend agree that trans men are often missed out of the trans debate, that they are also subjected to some really cruel behaviour and often suffer violence, such as rape, and that that is under- reported?
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I pay tribute to the excellent organisations that are working to provide men and boys with the tools and space to talk openly about their feelings, without fear of judgment or stigma. One of them was mentioned a moment ago: this week, I met Rob Lloyd and John Latchford from Men’s Sheds, which provides spaces for men to come together and work on crafts, while developing friendships and a mutual support network. Another great example, which I am sure all Members will be familiar with in their constituencies, is Andy’s Man Club, which has groups all over the country that are helping to end the stigma around men’s mental health through the power of conversation.
A similar organisation in my constituency in south Durham is ManHealth, which works to raise awareness of and improve men’s physical and mental health. It organises men’s walks and peer support groups, which meet weekly. I attended one recently in my constituency, and found a group of men from all walks of life sat together in a circle. The session started with each man taking it in turns to update the group on their week, beginning by saying how they felt on a scale of one to 10. I sat listening, touched by the openness of those who were sharing, and the non-judgmental kindness of those listening and offering support.
Then the group leader came to me and asked, “Well, Sam, where are you this week?” I froze briefly, contemplating how I should respond. Do I quickly say something positive and move on, or should I be honest and make myself vulnerable? Do I tell the truth, that this week I am a five—not quite rock bottom but feeling little joy in life? Do I admit how anxious and out of place I have felt in my new role, how the online abuse that all MPs receive secretly gets to me, and how I lie awake at night feeling overwhelmed by the scale of the challenge of meeting my voters’ expectations? “Five.” I did it—I shared. And although I had feared that these men might struggle to relate to me, as a Member of this place, I found understanding nods and expressions of appreciation. It also lifted my spirits to be able to visit each of them one by one, and listen to the particular stories that they wanted to share with me. That is the thing about peer support: it is in the giving as well as in the receiving that people feel empowered.
To pick up the point we heard a moment ago, research shows that boys need to have positive role models. That does not just mean fathers and male teachers, although that is important; it could mean older boys in the school being given responsibility to act as peer mentors to younger boys. There is evidence of unconscious bias in teaching staff, which we need to get rid of. We need to raise expectations, because the schools that do well establish a culture of high expectations among boys.
We need to take seriously who and what is influencing boys. When I was growing up in the ’90s, it was more or less taken for granted that we were in an age of progress, where our generation of young men were growing up with more respect for women and with more progressive values. Again, to reference the growing move to the far right and the misogynistic values being spread online, that progress is now in reverse. We need to guard against those behaviours by boys online.
Another significant intervention that I will promote in other parts of my work in Parliament is a much earlier focus on social emotional learning in schools. We need children to grow up learning to recognise, understand and regulate their emotions and to find better or appropriate ways to express them. They need to learn greater self-awareness, social awareness and empathy for others. People are not born with these skills; these are skills they develop and from an early age based on the sorts of role models and interaction that children experience at home and in the classroom. The Welsh Government and the Mayor of Manchester are good examples of those actively rolling out programmes in schools that focus on children’s social emotional learning.
I will leave my remarks there because I have talked for long enough, and I am conscious of leaving time for colleagues to make their important contributions to the debate and add to the points I have raised. I thank everyone for convening to discuss the issues. I hope that as a House we can take these issues seriously and it will not just be a debate but something that leads to meaningful change.
As my hon. Friend the Member for Bishop Auckland said, there is a growing range of charities, including Men’s Sheds, Andy’s Man Club, Prostate Cancer UK, which is doing a lot of work, Harry’s Hikes, WalKing Men and many more. It is important to encourage those organisations. This year, there are three key themes for International Men’s Day: making a positive difference to wellbeing and lives, raising awareness of and funds for charities supporting men and boy’s wellbeing, and promoting a positive conversation about men, manhood and masculinity.
My hon. Friend mentioned manhood and masculinity. I will talk more about that today. We know that a lot of the way in which society runs is centred on men—from how clothes are made for emergency service workers, to language—so it stands to reason that, for equity purposes, there has to be more of a focus on women. However, as I said, that does not come at the exclusion of men. Being a man is not about being strong and silent—that is very old thinking. We need to encourage more men to speak up and speak out. When it comes to health, 12,000 men die of prostate cancer every year—one every 45 minutes—one in five UK men do not live to the age of 65, and 14 men die by suicide every day. That is an alarming number; there is a continued crisis in male suicide, which is the leading cause of death for men under 50.
I believe that there is a direct correlation between the increase in mental ill health among men and the growth in the number of involuntary celibates, or incels. That growing and worrying underground movement of young men is defined by a misogyny that believes that men have lost the genetic lottery and are destined to fail with women. Incels are often poorly educated boys and men, and they justify violence against women via their ideological stances. It is important that we tackle that crisis head-on and send a strong message from this House that incels are not in any way a good representation of a good man.
Women are not the enemy. One woman is killed every three days by a man, so we need men to speak up and speak out. We need men to be louder than the toxic men on social media who have huge platforms. We need men to speak louder than the men with power, the men in power and some of the men who are soon to get power. We have a lot of work to do. Some 20% of incels contemplate suicide every day. There are well-documented terrorist attacks and mass killings by incels. International Men’s Day is important for everyone. The world will be safer if we all work together to respect each other and make sure that we are all kept safe.
I will end with a quote by Alex Karras, who said:
“It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more ‘manhood’ to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.”
I have learned a lot in this debate; I am very grateful to the Backbench Business Committee and to the hon. Member for Bishop Auckland (Sam Rushworth) for organising it. I have already name-checked the Aylsham community shed, but I will finish by name-checking the Brundall men’s shed, which I have visited a couple of times. It is easy to think that these organisations tend to be used by men who are my age and above, but actually they welcome young men and men of all ages. One of their great strengths is that they not only bring men together, but start challenging some of the age exclusions that we have too often in our communities and bring people of whatever age into a comfortable, welcoming and friendly environment. That is exactly what it is about —whenever I go to a men’s shed or a community shed, I feel welcome. It feels like a comfortable environment where we are accepted for who we are and what we can bring.
The sheds are a wonderful series of organisations. One of their strengths is that they do not rely on the state for funding; they are community organisations that have come up from below and support themselves in both their direction and funding. However, there is one area in which they really rely on the community, which is quite difficult in some circumstances, and that is in the provision of accommodation. The Aylsham community shed is in a shared space in the high school, which is great but brings challenges, because it has to pack everything away at 3 pm. The Brundall men’s shed is in an extra part of a boat shed, which again means that it is forever reliant on the good will of the wider community. While that good will is there, the organisations can flourish. If I have one message for the wider community, it is to support men’s sheds, provide them with space and get behind them.
I also want to talk about another problem that men do not have, which is worries about equality. Yesterday was Equal Pay Day, the day on which the average woman stops earning compared with the average man. That is something that we should all want to remedy, not just because equal pay for work is a basic fairness, but because our economy and society work much better when all our contributions are valued properly. Sadly, however, teachers in Leyton and Wanstead tell me that male students now regularly question the basic idea of equal pay between men and women. This will be an increasingly familiar point to colleagues across the House, but I believe that as a society, we are only just starting to wake up to the threat created by far-right online influencers who weaponise masculinity.
Positive examples of masculinity are not hard to find. We had plenty of them at the prostate cancer event last week, and I had plenty of them in the Royal Air Force. Many boys and men have no need of masculinity; there is no need to hold a narrow few up as paragons of decency and manliness for all to imitate. Those Members who are not aware should know that I led the evacuation of Kabul—I was in charge of the air forces that flew 14,500 people out of Kabul a couple of years ago. In the documentaries that were made and some of the television interviews I gave afterwards—one in particular— I may have broken down in tears, alongside a friend of mine, a guy called Sergeant Andy Livingstone. He stepped forward to cradle a young child when its exhausted mother collapsed during one of the evacuation flights. What horrified me afterwards was that there were articles and discussions not about “person finds upsetting event upsetting”, but simply about the fact that someone deemed to be in a position of power who was a man had shown some emotions.
It is clear that the challenges faced by young men are exposing them to radicalisation, including misogyny, racism and homophobia.